Friday, February 1, 2013

So recently I have been thinking a great deal about sexual fetishes. Don't judge me! Since I am no longer married, gettin' laid isn't quite as easy as it was before. Anyways, for some reason I got to thinking about fisting. Seriously. Now, don't get me wrong, I am sure that it can be quite pleasurable....for some people....but all I can think about it puppeteering. For fuck's sake, ya'll, pussies are for pounding NOT puppeteering! It sort of made me think about slipping into a prewarmed glove or perhaps even a warm sweater. Mostly it just made me think of The Muppets. If I have my hand up anything, it damn well better be a puppet and not another human being. Considering that I am somewhat immature, I would be hard-pressed to resist speaking in a squeaky voice should I ever put my hand all up inside another human being. Think about it: another living being UP TO YOUR ELBOW. How is that not akin to a puppet? You see? I am not so crazy. If you are in to the whole fisting thing: congratulations. You are a far more robust woman than I. If you are a man and into fisting, I have but one question: What are your feelings about puppetry? In other inappropriate news.... I have a wonderful Facebook friend who is as twisted as I am. Sometimes, I get drunk and send her things I can't send to anyone else lest I be judged. For your enjoyment, I present the single-most blasphemous thing I have ever encountered: THE BABY JESUS BUTT PLUG. By all means, snoop around a bit. There is even something my "friend" refers affectionately to as "the rubber sex bible." Truly something for all your blasphemous sexcapade needs! For the record, I am all for fun in the bedroom. That being said, what's the weirdest thing you have ever done? Do you regret it? SHOW ME YOURS I'LL SHOW YOU MINE!

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