Friday, November 18, 2011

This Post is a bit Funnier... but Probably Only if You're Me.

Ok, to set the tone... I text Anthony like a zillion times a day, because I feel like that is acceptable and that he owes me. What does he owe me? I don't really know, but that sense of entitlement is there. Anyways, I had put off texting him on this particular day until around lunch. I was probably mad about something but didn't remember what but was still trying to be badass. Anyways, here it all is:

ME: Hey. Can I get junk food for lunch, like from McDonald's? I feel like I need to eat it. I can't explain it. If it helps you decide, I only had ONE cup of coffee this morning so I am already ahead.

****Anthony didn't respond, so I sent this:

ME: If you don't answer I'll hide your toothbrush and let's just say that you will have to perform a cavity search to find it. Ewwwww. I just grossed myself out. Disregard!
ANTHONY: Yeah that is fine.
ME: What? No giggles? Cavity searches always make me giggle.
ME: I meant that cavity search jokes, not actual cavity searches because those sound awful and I'm not depraved, Anthony.
ME: Aaannnyyywaaayyys. How is your day going?
ME: Hey... are you ignoring me? It isn't because of the cavity search joke is it? Because in my defense I told you to disregard it.

****He still didn't text me back so I used some of my feminine wiles in an attempt to really get his attention.

ME: (I sent a photo that was totally black) Stuck the camera down my shirt. This is technically a picture of my boobs but I know you don't like it when I send you a picture of my boobs so I will just let you use your imagination here... I mean, the camera was down my shirt but for the sake of modesty I left the flash off. You're welcome.

****He never got back to me. When I asked if he liked the picture of my boobs I sent him when he got home, he just looked baffled (at my behavior) and shook his head and sighed. Stop sighing, Anthony, it isn't helping. Anyways, a couple days later, Anthony actually texted me but honestly I was sort of offended by what he and I said so I am now deciding to leave it all out. Sorry and you're welcome.

Here is some more stuff. I hear from Liz from time to time, which I love.

LIZ: I'm falling asleep in class.
ME: I'm falling asleep watching Ayla, eek! Are you in your philosophy class?
LIZ: Genetics.
ME: Oh:(
LIZ: So sleepy...
ME: Well, not like it helps but I'm gonna take a nap in your honor.
LIZ: I hate you.
ME: I get that a lot.

****That also probably made me look like a douche. But come on... if someone mentions they are tired don't you feel more tired too?! I know I do. I blame Liz for hypnotizing me over text messages. Dammit, Liz!

What can I say? It's been a slow week. I've had a headache for over a week that won't go away and haven't really been in-tune with most of the stuff happening around me. I've noticed that I am probably at my most normal when I am rendered incapable of speaking or thinking. That probably doesn't bode well for me. In other news, apparently Craigslist is biased against vampires, or people wanting to be vampires, because it never posted my ad. Or, Craigslist is actually run by vampires and they didn't want their secret to be uncovered so they blocked my post. Touché, Craigslist, touché.

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