Tuesday, November 8, 2011

This Should Surprise No One...

Every year around Fall, my parents ask us for our Christmas lists. It's just a little tradition. When we were just kids, we were sure to give our parents a list on a biweekly basis 'cause, well, you know... there was just so much stuff. Now that we are adults, we have to be reminded that Christmas is coming because otherwise we would probably miss the holiday entirely and spend all day sitting around the house being cold and watching MythBusters reruns (hey, sounds like a good time to me, sans the coldness.) Anyways, this is an email I sent to my parents.

From Me:
I don't know what Anthony wants or what WE need, but I know this: I've been building this wish list on Amazon for the better part of 6 months. So yeah...
I'd really like the seminar DVD's to be a priority since my time to read is pretty limited on account of having a child (who by every indication may have relatives in common with Godzilla) is so busy. Also on account of I'll be having another one soon-ish. I'd still LOVE any books about dogs (on this list) but the seminar DVD I REALLY want (even more than I want a puppy) is http://www.amazon.com/Fighting-Dominance-Dog-Whispering-World/dp/B0011CW4L4/ref=wl_it_dp_o_npd?ie=UTF8&coliid=I155N141BXZHD4&colid=67RGKB4633W9 this one.
It was very difficult for me to prioritize that, I hope you know that. VERY. HARD. INDEED.
In any event... hope this helps. (It probably doesn't help at all since what it's really doing is cementing in your minds the certainty that I *may* be completely crazy for animals. Wait. You already knew that? Nooo waaayyy!)

<3 Bear My Dad's Response:
Read my eyes rolling back into my head....:) I don't have time at work, and i realize it isn't Christmas eve yet, so we might have a little time to look at this. Uh, thanks for being so concerned that you have an answer when we ask what you would like for Christmas that you have been working on this for six months......how thoughtful of you.

****And that is what I get for taking some damn initiative.

My Response to His Response:
Mum asked! It was not all me! And the wish list is mostly to keep track of the books that have been recommended to me by colleagues, Mr. I-think-my-daughter-is-totally-shameless.

Dad's Response to my Response to His Response (??!?!?!!)

****He probably thought he could just end it there, but that is where he messed up. You see, he implied that I am a hoardy, selfish snatch-face and that made me a) very defensive (because it's not true!) and b) sort of giddy (because I'm unbalanced that way.)

My Final Response
You can send us your Christmas list, but in the end we will probably take creative liberty and get you something weird like dumb bells shaped like 50's cartoon characters or a book about beards of the Civil War era. I mean.... we'll look at your list but you have to realize that you are dealing with two (ok, so only one) really bizarre person with hummingbirds on crack for frontal lobes. So, with that being said, please send us your list so we don't feel like complete jerk-faces for just sending you all an enormous list of stuff that includes lots of books on dogs, a well fed frog (named Roméo), and fly fishing thingies (I do not even begin to have the vocabulary for these contraptions.) <----he doesn't really want the last thingy, but I thought it was hilarious. It's like polio braces but with fishing poles attached.... which really isn't funny at all because polio isn't funny.... but it's almost funny in this case. I would say the joke was successful, just needed a different delivery.
PS: Maybe a better list to send us is a "Under no circumstances do I want this" list. No guarantees, of course, but we will try very hard to not get you something you despise.
PPS: You can give this email to mum. It just occurred to me I may want to learn how to actually use email so I can include more than one person in a reply. Until then though spreading the word is your job. Peace out! XOXO

****For the record, I really don't know how to include more than one person on a reply. I usually copy and paste and resend to the other person. It makes me feel really busy and productive but at the end of the day really it just means I'm technologically impaired (I'll get it checked, I swear.)

I'm awaiting my dad's response (my mum's was less than favorable, but that doesn't matter) and will update then! Yay!

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